http://www.stuff.co.nz/life-style/food-wine/7586601/Why-is-it-so-hard-to-eat-alone
Just reading this article, when 1 in 10 adults live alone, how is it that food/eating is said to be a social event.
I'm not sure I completely understand the author of this article I mean I try to do things alone a lot. It's part of the life experience. Dining alone isn't hard, but then I see older men do it a lot more than young women. I also don't tend to go eat alone in the more expensive restaurants. It's also a lot different easting alone in your own town compared to doing it while you're overseas. I don't think I'd be so carefree about dining alone if I was in a foreign place. There is safety concerns regardless of where you are though. I mean the thugs are everywhere.
Dining alone brings a whole new experience to the act. You have sole choice over the food and drink you order. The waiters and chefs are doing your bidding. You don't end up eating anything at the persuasion of your companions (we all know it can happen when we're with others). It's not always bad, don't get me wrong. The whole act of being alone, dining alone, drinking alone is very 'confidence boosting'. I found when I dined alone that I have men try and persuade me to eat with them. I often refuse and tell them (politely of course) that I'd prefer to be alone.
I've only eaten a few times alone. Not always by my own choice. I find it more comforting to order and then eat somewhere outside the restaurant (not seated in/out of it), but more like a park or the beach. Seeing someone eating alone at the park or the beach seems more socially accepted. More people enjoy the sunshine and being outdoors. They all have such different lives when they're not seen eating alone outdoors - maybe they're business people, teachers, students...we don't know.
Drinking alone is never heard of being a good thing. Ever. Whenever I've mentioned I'm having a quiet tipple people become very judgemental about my health, well being and become especially concerned about my mental health. None of this is really bad, it shows people care. But it can be annoying when you're just trying to have a nice glass of wine. Alone. Because you're not in the mood for company.
And trust me it doesn't happen -that- often!
Friday 31 August 2012
Thursday 30 August 2012
Child Freedom
Child Free, "CF".
I guess not many people that know me realise that I am CF. I don't have an urge to pop out children. I don't want to have my own child. I guess that maternal part of me didn't get passed on or something. That said, it's not like I fear children, child birth or pregnancy. I just cannot imagine myself doing it. If I dream of being pregnant or having a child it's usually a fear induced dream rather than a positive one. Luckily they don't happen often. I've also mentioned being CF to people like my mum who thinks I'll change my mind. I've been thinking in the CF way since I was maybe 16, so I am 99% sure my mind is made up.
The School & Gay Marriage:
I work with Korean school children at a language academy at the moment. I help (along with other tutors who're either Kiwi or Korean) the kids English (language skills) and help with their homework. It's not hard work, but the kids keep me on my toes. I have to be very onto it about language usage and have to think quickly on my feet for many issues they ask about.
Recently I was talking to the kids in my groups about 'gay marriage'. We talked about gay/lesbian people (trans-gender isn't something they're familiar with, so I stuck to gay and lesbian). In Korea it isn't acceptable to be gay/lesbian so they all think gay marriage shouldn't be allowed. I am of the opposite opinion and think it is silly to base marriage on who they're in love with.
It raised some interesting questions (from them and me) in regards to who makes a 'family'. As I was just saying, I'm CF and don't plan on having children. So when they said things like a girl/boy can't have a baby by them self. (And they mentioned that a man couldn't get pregnant anyway). It raised questions in me, so I asked them about adoption (like from an orphanage- it is a common example of who would be adopted in Korea). They said that sure people can adopt like from the orphanage but that having two mums or two dads would be weird. They said they would tease someone if they knew they had two of the same parent!
Koreans have very different views about marriage and gender than we do in NZ.
I am thankful I was brought up in a family who is accepting of pretty much everything. Of course some things are not accepted anywhere - murder, rape, beatings and bashings....
Religion comes into the gay marriage debate too. My Korean students are religious, while I am not. That said, I cannot find anywhere within the Christian Bible which condemns Gay Marriage as an idea.
Marriage is a recent Social construct not a Biblical one.
Marriage should be based on love and commitment; Not whether you're a homophobic or not.
I guess not many people that know me realise that I am CF. I don't have an urge to pop out children. I don't want to have my own child. I guess that maternal part of me didn't get passed on or something. That said, it's not like I fear children, child birth or pregnancy. I just cannot imagine myself doing it. If I dream of being pregnant or having a child it's usually a fear induced dream rather than a positive one. Luckily they don't happen often. I've also mentioned being CF to people like my mum who thinks I'll change my mind. I've been thinking in the CF way since I was maybe 16, so I am 99% sure my mind is made up.
The School & Gay Marriage:
I work with Korean school children at a language academy at the moment. I help (along with other tutors who're either Kiwi or Korean) the kids English (language skills) and help with their homework. It's not hard work, but the kids keep me on my toes. I have to be very onto it about language usage and have to think quickly on my feet for many issues they ask about.
Recently I was talking to the kids in my groups about 'gay marriage'. We talked about gay/lesbian people (trans-gender isn't something they're familiar with, so I stuck to gay and lesbian). In Korea it isn't acceptable to be gay/lesbian so they all think gay marriage shouldn't be allowed. I am of the opposite opinion and think it is silly to base marriage on who they're in love with.
It raised some interesting questions (from them and me) in regards to who makes a 'family'. As I was just saying, I'm CF and don't plan on having children. So when they said things like a girl/boy can't have a baby by them self. (And they mentioned that a man couldn't get pregnant anyway). It raised questions in me, so I asked them about adoption (like from an orphanage- it is a common example of who would be adopted in Korea). They said that sure people can adopt like from the orphanage but that having two mums or two dads would be weird. They said they would tease someone if they knew they had two of the same parent!
Koreans have very different views about marriage and gender than we do in NZ.
I am thankful I was brought up in a family who is accepting of pretty much everything. Of course some things are not accepted anywhere - murder, rape, beatings and bashings....
Religion comes into the gay marriage debate too. My Korean students are religious, while I am not. That said, I cannot find anywhere within the Christian Bible which condemns Gay Marriage as an idea.
Marriage is a recent Social construct not a Biblical one.
Marriage should be based on love and commitment; Not whether you're a homophobic or not.
Gay Marriage Thoughts & updates
Crazy to think I last wrote on here over a year ago!
So much has happened since then, I've been diagnosed with a strange kind of asthma caused by working in the bakery. I have a flour allergy, when I breathed it in while working it coated my lungs and made me have daily asthma attacks. They've stopped now and I'm now a teacher! I teach English and help school kids with their homework at a Korean language school.
Recently I have been getting behind more political kinds of things going on within my social group.
The 'Gay Marriage' debate is heating up the Parliament here. The first reading and vote happened last night, a grand total of 80 for and 40 against.
The people who voted against were mostly those who entered in the 90's, they're all 40s+ and have very different views to the general populace!
My boyfriend and I were interviewed for the local news website by Fairfax Media. They're the group of people who submit work to www.stuff.co.nz (the national news website).
We were interviewed last week, still waiting to see the video and article. They haven't been published yet.
I have met some amazing people during the process, including Andrew. A local guy who also went to VUW.
I have heard some amazing stories from people of all different ages, races, ethnicities and they're all carrying the same message. Gay life in NZ is getting easier, but there are still bigoted individuals who bully and harass these awesome people. This angers and saddens me.
I heard someone recently say that the 'gay marriage' debate is very similar in nature to the 1960's debates in regards to 'blacks vs whites' and racial segregation... Although now it is based on gender and gender equality not race.
What's next? I would hope that the gender debates will cool down, we're mostly accepting of people who don't sleep with who we traditionally thought they should. Gay men who had been married and had children, are now widowed (or divorced) and wanting to marry their gentleman. ;) I don't have a problem with this.
I do have a problem with those people who think gays are insane, or need religious intervention, or need to be forced to be straight. Obviously (to me) gay people are like me. They choose who they love in the same way I do. There is no difference. Except they're choosing to sleep with their same gender while I choose not to. There is Nothing wrong with that!
--Anyone who does has a problem with it, is a homophobic!
These are just a few of the thoughts I've been having. Many people probably will be surprised to hear my view, but it's my view. My opinion is no less right or wrong than anyone else. But I have a Voice which will not be silenced!
So much has happened since then, I've been diagnosed with a strange kind of asthma caused by working in the bakery. I have a flour allergy, when I breathed it in while working it coated my lungs and made me have daily asthma attacks. They've stopped now and I'm now a teacher! I teach English and help school kids with their homework at a Korean language school.
Recently I have been getting behind more political kinds of things going on within my social group.
The 'Gay Marriage' debate is heating up the Parliament here. The first reading and vote happened last night, a grand total of 80 for and 40 against.
The people who voted against were mostly those who entered in the 90's, they're all 40s+ and have very different views to the general populace!
My boyfriend and I were interviewed for the local news website by Fairfax Media. They're the group of people who submit work to www.stuff.co.nz (the national news website).
We were interviewed last week, still waiting to see the video and article. They haven't been published yet.
I have met some amazing people during the process, including Andrew. A local guy who also went to VUW.
I have heard some amazing stories from people of all different ages, races, ethnicities and they're all carrying the same message. Gay life in NZ is getting easier, but there are still bigoted individuals who bully and harass these awesome people. This angers and saddens me.
I heard someone recently say that the 'gay marriage' debate is very similar in nature to the 1960's debates in regards to 'blacks vs whites' and racial segregation... Although now it is based on gender and gender equality not race.
What's next? I would hope that the gender debates will cool down, we're mostly accepting of people who don't sleep with who we traditionally thought they should. Gay men who had been married and had children, are now widowed (or divorced) and wanting to marry their gentleman. ;) I don't have a problem with this.
I do have a problem with those people who think gays are insane, or need religious intervention, or need to be forced to be straight. Obviously (to me) gay people are like me. They choose who they love in the same way I do. There is no difference. Except they're choosing to sleep with their same gender while I choose not to. There is Nothing wrong with that!
--Anyone who does has a problem with it, is a homophobic!
These are just a few of the thoughts I've been having. Many people probably will be surprised to hear my view, but it's my view. My opinion is no less right or wrong than anyone else. But I have a Voice which will not be silenced!
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